last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
