it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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