I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
