just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
