It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
