Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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