8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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