i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
