You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
