I love black thongs
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
