Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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