I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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