Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
