R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
