wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
