You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
