Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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