Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
