HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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