Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
