She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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