good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
