i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
