i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
