the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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