Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
