Soap is not a condiment
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
