drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
