Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We left the knife in your bed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
