tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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