that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
