Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
