saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
