he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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