It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
