Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
