i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
