Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
