You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
