life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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