where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I stole a fireplace last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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