Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
