so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
