Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Couch. On fire.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
