Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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