question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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