And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
