the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I could make wine with my vomit
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
