she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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