Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
