I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
