it was like his penis was on wheels.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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